So I make the call this morning…everyone agrees – GREAT NAME!  I get out the company card, go to register the domain and BAM – it is taken.  My face goes white as the blood rushes from my brain.  I can’t believe it.  This name has never been registered – it is not in the dictionary – and someone came up with the same name within 24 hours?  Give me a break

So I call my partners and we come to the logical conclusion – DirectNIC must sell their search queries to companies overseas…So I call DirectNIC.

The phone is answered by a lady in customer service.  She 100% denies that DirectNIC sells their search queries or a feed to their search queries.  She told me “Some people out their, that are not real familiar with the Internet, think the Internet is out to get them.”  I replied:  “I am very familiar with the Internet…this is how I have made my living for the past eight yeras – and DirectNIC is not the Internet – it is a company that does business on the Internet.”  She ended up insulting my intelligence a couple more times and then hung up on me.

For those of you interested in the domain name – it was to be verbeo.com.  Look it up…look at the company it was registered to…and look at the date.

Make up your own mind to whether you think this was a coincidence – the odds are out of this world.  So…the next time you are shopping for domain names – BEWARE!

A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest..!!

A breath & a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart  is felt to be beating normally again. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs plus coughing movements squeeze the heart & keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm.

(just kidding)

(maybe) 

We always hear “the rules” from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.  You’re a big girl.  If it’s up, put it down.  We need it up, you need it down.  You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides.  Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport – and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are  perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That’s what we do.  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.  Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something -Or- tell us how you want it done.  Not both.  If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. pumpkin is also a fruit/vegetable.  We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.  We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong.  We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine…Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this.  Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;  But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

In an effort to diffuse growing accusations of racism, George Allen’s campaign released information that suggests George Allen’s grandfather may have been a black homosexual man named Macaca – and the name “Macaca” actually holds a special place in Allen’s heart.  The campaign later released two images.  The first is said to be George Allen as a child with his grandfather.  The second, the campaign stated, was definitive proof that Allen is not a racist.

Here is what you do – it is guaranteed to work every time.

1. First you take your quarters and slip them into a water balloon.  One balloon for each quarter.

2. Second, you lubricate the water balloon with laundry detergent.

3. Third, you place the quarters (inside of the balloons) into the slots and hold on very tightly to the ends of the balloons.  Again, hold on tight!

4. Push the quarters in and Pull them back out.

5. Free Laundry

A couple of tips…

Make sure your hands are not covered with detergent from lubricating the balloons.  If they are, the ends of the balloons will slip out of your hands and jam the machine.

If you have multiple loads,(once you get the feel for it) go ahead and repeat step 4 several times in succession for the dryer – you can rack up a few hours of drying time in 10 seconds.

Hope this helps some college kids empty the hamper.

**Update/Disclaimer**

If you have the money - PAY!  This is article is for those who are out of money and clean underwear.

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